Sibling Clash: Deciding on Care

Many of us are familiar with sibling rivalries and clashes that occur while growing up. Typically that rivalry tones down quite a lot in adulthood, but it may rear its head again during a critical time: when deciding on care for an aging parent. 

In many cases, one or more siblings have stayed close to their parents while other siblings move some distance away. Since an out-of-town son or daughter cannot physically provide care for the aging parent, the duty is typically left to the siblings that are in close proximity. Depending on the needs of the parent, this can be a lot of work to be done by oftentimes just one person. Siblings that take on the role of caregiver typically have more say in matters of health and financial planning, which may be taken as a slight by the out-of-town sibling(s). Likewise, the siblings that are undertaking the majority of the care may feel that they are burdened by the lack of involvement from the other siblings. 

The disconnect that occurs can erupt in disputes at any time, but typically occurs when there's a major change in health status of the parent(s), or even when the workload of being a caregiver becomes overwhelming. Bear in mind, some caregivers of their parents have to take time off work or leave their job altogether just to keep up with the needs of the parent. 

When things turn south for the relationship between the siblings, there are options in order to help keep the interactions civil and focused on the care of the parent. Sometimes old family baggage can cloud the conversation, taking away from the overall purpose. In these tense situations, options like a Geriatric Care Manager, or even an Elder Care Mediator can ensure that the conversation is geared towards a productive outcome. They are trained specifically for these situations and have likely heard similar stories to yours. 

When the lines of communication are open between siblings, the next step is to decide which care providers are best. Services like ACC Adult Home Care are reputable not only because of the quality Caregivers on staff, but also because of the highly qualified owners that manage each case personally. ​